


Lonely

by mikachan



Series: Sebastian x Ciel Drabbles & One-Shots [6]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, M/M, Smut, angsty smut, spillingashes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 09:17:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11414868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikachan/pseuds/mikachan
Summary: Sebastian kisses him softly, softer than he should be able to, and Ciel melts as winter’s lake; frost turning into ash in his mouth.





	Lonely

“I know that it is a privilege to be loved, but it would be much more priceless of a privilege to be loved by you.” He is intangible as stardust, fragile as winter’s ice. He threads a hand up into Sebastian’s hair, tugging lightly. It is in these brief moments when they are alone that he can let all of his lies falter away. It is here, in the quiet halls of the manor, that he can speak truth, that he can let himself steal away a solemn second.

“Love… what a conundrum it is, my little master.” Sebastian smirks wildly against the shell of his ear, pulling him into a torrid and feral embrace. “What a conundrum you are, my Sebastian.” Ciel leans up to press a small, damp kiss to the side of his neck, breathing him softly. He is winter’s fire; a fierce, stark contrast against a blanket of cold, white, snow.

Sebastian leans into his touch gracefully, like a panther. He takes Ciel’s hand in his, lacing gloved fingers together. A small smile graces the boy’s lips as they pull away to lock eyes. There is a swell of emotion that bubbles into his throat and heart… into his eyes. Ciel knows that it should not be there, that it should not exist. He knows all of this and still, it remains all the same. He is both frightened and exhilarated, heartbroken and alone. Sebastian kisses him softly, softer than he should be able to, and Ciel melts as winter’s lake; frost turning into ash in his mouth.

He feels his legs weaken beneath him. He is a young deer; naive and unlearned. His back meets with the hard surface of the wall behind him, and he leans into the assuredness of it. He knows that it is there. He knows that Sebastian is pressing against him lightly, hand firmly pressed to the back of his neck; fingers wound through the soft, downy hairs. Ciel reaches up to clutch onto the apex of his butler’s shoulders, clutching as if he is his only lifeline.

Sebastian purrs, like a cat, against the boy’s young and kiss-swollen lips. A gasp is drawn from them, and his eyes lid in adoration at the creature above him. Sebastian runs a soft, gloved finger along his bottom lip, pressing lightly; a sinister claw hiding beneath a perfect, quaint guise. Ciel sighs slowly, and lowers his eyes down to the floor. He notices the way that Sebastian is standing… notices how submissive and malleable he has let himself become.

He wants to curse himself for it, but he loses the thought when those soft lips are again pressing themselves to the soft spot on his neck, a firm yet gentle hand guiding his head back to grant more access to the flesh. It is his turn to tangle his fingers into Sebastian’s hair, but he tugs a little harder… pulls a little tighter. Sebastian’s other hand is warm and firm against the back of his thigh, and he lifts his leg to wrap it around Sebastian’s waist. It is an unseemly waltz; a dance of thorn-berry bushes and rose petals. Sebastian is soft. He is sinister.

There is no time. Ciel can feel the hardness pressing against the inside of his leg, his own straining the seams of his trousers. Ciel reaches down to grasp desperately at the fabric drawn taut and thick at Sebastian’s crotch. He wants to lean down to touch it, to lave his tongue across the dripping head. Sebastian releases his leg to free them both from their confines, and Ciel is quick to drop to his knees, ungloved hands reaching out to grasp at Sebastian’s hard cock.

He slides him into his mouth slowly, eager and proud to take him. Tears well in his eyes, and again, he knows that they should not be there. He tries to will them away, but he only wants to know that he is loved… to know that he is desired. He wants and wants and wants until there is nothing left of him, and even then he feels the empty pit in the core of his stomach burning and begging to be filled. He sucks hard on Sebastian’s engorged length, willing him to feel something… trying to coax some semblance of discord or headiness from out that mouth and tongue.

Sebastian is silent, eyes burning into the top of Ciel’s head, hands clutched tightly into his hair, guiding him. Ciel scrunches his eyes shut, the pit in his stomach growing and ripping into an unbearable weight. He wants more than to be lusted after, even if he does not deserve it. He thinks that maybe he should. Maybe he should deserve to be loved in return, but then that pit drops lower still, and he remembers that this is not the reason that he is alive… it is not the reason that he came back. Sometimes he forgets. He struggles to remember more and more each time.

His own member is aching, and still he refuses to touch. He won’t, not until Sebastian is satisfied. He needs to know that he is good, that he has done something worthy of praise and reciprocation. Sebastian growls low in this throat, and Ciel sucks harder as the tears in his eyes threaten to spill past his twitching eyelids. He wills them away. He focuses on making Sebastian feel good… on making him come apart at the seams.

Sebastian clutches harder at his hair, ceasing the bobbing of his head so that he can fuck up into his mouth. Ciel’s eyes roll into the back of his head, and there are stars crowding his brain, mixing with the static. It’s all too intense, all too overwhelming. Ciel moans around the shaft in his mouth and Sebastian comes hard and sudden, pushing back against his soft palate, sliding roughly against his tongue. Ciel swallows it all, hands moving to clutch at the fabric by Sebastian’s hips.

When he pulls his softening member from Ciel’s throat the boy coughs, gasping into the stale and dusty air. There are tears of pain and pleasure staining his pale, flushed cheeks. Sebastian tucks himself back into his pants… leans down beside Ciel. He runs a surprisingly gentle hand through the boy’s tangled hair, caresses his face gently with the other. “You did so well… my good, beautiful boy,” he whispers as if they are lovers.

Fresh tears sting at Ciel’s eyes, and he can’t tear them away from Sebastian’s, can’t seem to help but to reach up towards them, his begging cock still dripping with need and aching with untamed arousal. “Shhh… I know, little one,” Sebastian coos, “I’m here.” He removes his white gloves, placing them gently to the side. He takes Ciel’s twitching cock in his hand, and the boy can’t help but whine, clutching onto his arm… onto his shoulder. He falls back against the wall once more. “There. Is that better? Does that feel good?”

Ciel nods drunkenly, hips attempting to shift up into his intense and calming grasp. “Good. Good boy.” Ciel whimpers as he is stroked slowly and thoroughly. He stares deeply into Sebastian’s eyes, searching for something that he cannot name, craving an affection that he believes can never be his. “Please…” he whispers, voice thick with tears, hoarse with the aftermath of pleasing Sebastian, “please. Faster?” Sebastian chuckles lightly, placing a gentle yet firm kiss to the skin of his forehead. He strokes him faster, leaning down to whisper into his ear… kiss over the smoothness of his neck.

Ciel comes with no warning; hard and sheepish into Sebastian’s palm. Sebastian does not look surprised. He watches closely as Ciel writhes in his lap, mouth open in a silent scream, eyes drawn tightly shut as new tears run over his face and onto his lips. Sebastian squeezes his hand around him, and Ciel collapses, a last torrential and miserable sob escaping his lips. “Shh…” Sebastian gathers the small thing into him, stroking along his hair with his clean hand, “it’s alright. I know, I know.” Ciel thinks that he does not know, that nothing is alright. Nothing is right. He wants to tell him just how wrong he is, but he cannot bear to oppose that terrifyingly beautiful creature. He cannot help but to convince himself to believe those words, if only for a moment.


End file.
